Periodically, I like to go to my favorite little bookstore on the corner. Ivanhoe named Charlie who shops there that I’ve had my eye on for some time. My buddy Tom Sawyer, and he thought she was amazing too. He’s been on me to make my move. While my opportunities in the past have been rather Grimm, I think today is the day. You doubt my abilities? Watch me in action and Ulysses to be amazed at my pickup prowess.

 
 
 Hi, I’m Mike, but you can call me Ishmael. Don’t you just love this store? They have quite a selection of magazines…I mean, just look at the size of that rack. Why don’t we go back to your place? I can dangle my participle in front of your split infinitive.

 
She must have anticipated my move. She didn’t waste any time trying to get my shorts off, did she? She’s the lord of the button flies.

 
Hey, gorgeous. Back that Aesop. Check out Charlie’s cute little chocolate factory. She’s such a Dahl. You busy yourself with Moby Dick while I peruse your puss n’ boobs.

 
All Dune. Now, that’s what I call a dewey decimal system. 

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