Okay, first off, this is the only way I could conceive of getting a fake nude picture of Natalie Portman on this blog. But that doesn’t change the fact that nubile-Queen-turned-undercover-hand-maiden-turned-intergalactic-freedom-fighter-Padme-Amidala-whatever isn’t still the hottest child bearer in Star Wars mythos. In fact, she (and her ripped abs) single-handedly made the abysmal prequels worth watching. Granted, she wasn’t actually a Milf for long (given that she died for no reason shortly after popping out Luke and Leia…), but she was, indeed, knocked up by the baddest bad dude in the history of bad dudes. That’s gotta count for something. Plus, her daughter grew up and wore a golden bikini that gave teenage fanboys across the world a lifetime fantasy to cling to in their cold lonely nights. So here’s to Padme/Natalie. She survived Lucas’ dialogue but she just couldn’t make it through his loose grasp on precipitated plotline. Oh well. So next time you freeze frame your overplayed copy of ROTJ to try to catch that Carrie Fisher nipple slip, consider popping in AOTC and whacking off to Natalie Portman’s belly button. It’s good for what ails ya’.
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June 29th, 2007 by 
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Okay, first off, this is the only way I could conceive of getting a fake nude picture of Natalie Portman on this blog. But that doesn’t change the fact that nubile-Queen-turned-undercover-hand-maiden-turned-intergalactic-freedom-fighter-Padme-Amidala-whatever isn’t still the hottest child bearer in Star Wars mythos. In fact, she (and her ripped abs) single-handedly made the abysmal prequels worth watching. Granted, she wasn’t actually a Milf for long (given that she died for no reason shortly after popping out Luke and Leia…), but she was, indeed, knocked up by the baddest bad dude in the history of bad dudes. That’s gotta count for something. Plus, her daughter grew up and wore a golden bikini that gave teenage fanboys across the world a lifetime fantasy to cling to in their cold lonely nights. So here’s to Padme/Natalie. She survived Lucas’ dialogue but she just couldn’t make it through his loose grasp on precipitated plotline. Oh well. So next time you freeze frame your overplayed copy of ROTJ to try to catch that Carrie Fisher nipple slip, consider popping in AOTC and whacking off to Natalie Portman’s belly button. It’s good for what ails ya’.
